It all started with social media. I was scrolling through Facebook and saw a post from one of my dearest friends. Her mom was having a Mastectomy and I was in shock! I messaged her immediately and asked for an update and let her know that I was praying hard for them and to continue to keep me updated. The next day, I checked in with her for an update and I got a picture of her mom flipping me off! LOL If you know mom, this is a good sign. It made me chuckle.
I was laying in bed that night and thought to myself…. “It’s been a while since I did a self examination” I know how to do this. I was taught since high school the importance of doing self examinations. We even had a lady come to our FCCLA class with examples of breast with and without lumps and we had to examine them and tell her which ones were clear and which ones weren’t.
In doing a self exam that night, I found a lump. I thought to myself and remember even saying out loud
I have been drinking a lot of caffeine. It’s probably just a cyst
I pointed it out to my husband (because we share everything) and promised to get it looked at but reassured him that these things are usually nothing to worry about.
This is something that I have found before so I was not too concerned. I would say about 10 years ago, I found a mass and had a diagnostic mammogram. It came back clear and there was nothing to worry about. Because of the last time, I knew that I was going to need a diagnostic mammogram again this time so I called and made an appointment with my Gynecologist. Her office does Mammograms so I was thinking efficiency.
August 20, 2021-
At my appointment with her, she confirmed that she felt the lump as well (not surprising) and we were going to need to order a diagnostic mammogram. Right on Que!!!!
She told me not to be surprised if they want to biopsy it and walked me to the front desk and asked the clerk to get me scheduled as soon as possible. She rubbed my back and smiled at me and said they will get the results to her and her office will be in touch.
I was good with this (I guess mostly because it was what I was expecting) and left with my mammogram scheduled for the next week. Of course on my way home I called and updated both my mom and my husband. The more I recapped it, I started to get an uneasy feeling. I knew after all this doctors mannerisms after she found my cervical cancer.
She walked me to the nurses station herself and made sure that I got an appointment ASAP. When I was asking her about needing to make a follow up appointment for the results it was the way she danced around it and didn’t schedule one. Why did I need an appointment ASAP if its probably nothing? It was the pat on my back. It felt like sympathy.
My mom tried to reassure me that she is probably just taking extra care of me because we have a history together with this type of thing and my husband was just reminding me that reading between the lines like that is counterproductive. They are both right. One step at a time.
August 25, 2021-
Diagnostic Mammogram. My husband goes with me. If I remember correctly, they give you results right then and we get results for anything like this together.
I fill out all of my paperwork and taken back to get changed. This is the point Justin and I split ways (COVID). I send him a cute picture of me in my pink gown & face mask and we flit while I wait. (Nothing new!)
I get called back to complete my mammogram. They mark the area where the lump is with a sticker and they squish my boobs and take some pictures. Once we are done, the nurse cleared with the radiologist that they have what they need and she comes back in and let me know that they want to do an ultrasound of the area. I am not surprised or too alarmed at this point. This seems like a normal process and my prev. doctor already had me prepared for them wanting to schedule a biopsy.
I get put in the waiting room. Update my husband. Flirt some more. They call me back for the ultrasound. She starts with my right breast. I have very dense tissue and there are cyst that she documents in every quadrant. This seems to take an hour and I’m probably not that far off. The cyst look like little black holes. This is because they are full of fluid. She switches the machine from non-radiant to radiant and its all good. No colors show up. Now, on to the left one. She puts the wand on the 11:00 quadrant, right over the lump that I felt and a tear roles down my face. I knew after watching her record cysts for almost an hour on the right side that what we were seeing was NOT the same thing. She takes several pictures, tells me that the radiologist will probably want to come in and go over with me the findings in both breast.
She tells me to sit tight while she gets the radiologist and leaves the room. She comes right back in and tells me that she wants me to get dressed and she will walk me to where the nurse is so she can go over the results with me. She closes the door. I pick my phone up and send a text to my husband.
I don’t feel good about this.
Mom, Wife, Boss 